NAZAR UNKI BURI
PARDA MAIN KARU??
With rising rape cases everywhere in India,
this is a most common question that occurs in a girl/woman’s
mind while she’s in an empty parking lot
or in an empty room
or in a restroom
or ANYWHERE????
Because they are nowhere safe!!!
“Rape is the only crime in which victim becomes the accused”
- Freda Adler
The above lines seems so true when people blames a girl
in rape cases.
First of all of those who say girls should dress up correctly
answer me if a person or a group of persons had thought of rape in their mind
will a salwaar Kurta or a mini skirt makes a difference?
Absolutely no!!!
So why girls should be asked to dress right?
And right what?
Should we have a dress code for being raped??
“The girl with this dress code has more probability than the other with that dress code of being raped!!!”
Are we insane???
And can we guarantee “no rape condition” even if a girl is wearing a “burkha”?
Boys can dress what they want>>
why can’t girls????
In a situation, where boys can even walk in boxers on the road,
so don’t girls even deserve a minimum freedom of wearing what they want??
Blaming girls for rape cases is like
a non vegetarian blaming the chicken on his plate
for being so convincing to eat that he had to eat it!!!!!!
And blaming makes the things worse
trying to understand the mindset of girl
the girl who is being raped is recovering from a trauma
and we are blaming her
when we should be supporting her!!!!
And what happens????
Girl goes home
crying for the things she is not even responsible even a bit
feels the worse of a helpless fellow,
taking back an instance that will pinch her whole life,
Being transformed into someone who can never be reverted back,
Being converted into someone who will now always be afraid of the dark and loneliness????
And loses her identity, loses herself!!!!!
And next what......
She lodges F.I.R
which will catch the convict “IF SHE’S LUCKY”
but does catching the convict revert back the things for her
will it give her the same life she lived before?
It’s not just about stopping guys from doing so
it’s about giving girls their sense of FREEDOM!!
A sense of NORMAL LIFE!!
A sense of SECURITY!!!
A sense of RESPECT!!
Courtesy-times of India
Title courtesy-Delhi slut walk
With rising rape cases everywhere in India,
this is a most common question that occurs in a girl/woman’s
mind while she’s in an empty parking lot
or in an empty room
or in a restroom
or ANYWHERE????
Because they are nowhere safe!!!
“Rape is the only crime in which victim becomes the accused”
- Freda Adler
The above lines seems so true when people blames a girl
in rape cases.
First of all of those who say girls should dress up correctly
answer me if a person or a group of persons had thought of rape in their mind
will a salwaar Kurta or a mini skirt makes a difference?
Absolutely no!!!
So why girls should be asked to dress right?
And right what?
Should we have a dress code for being raped??
“The girl with this dress code has more probability than the other with that dress code of being raped!!!”
Are we insane???
And can we guarantee “no rape condition” even if a girl is wearing a “burkha”?
Boys can dress what they want>>
why can’t girls????
In a situation, where boys can even walk in boxers on the road,
so don’t girls even deserve a minimum freedom of wearing what they want??
Blaming girls for rape cases is like
a non vegetarian blaming the chicken on his plate
for being so convincing to eat that he had to eat it!!!!!!
And blaming makes the things worse
trying to understand the mindset of girl
the girl who is being raped is recovering from a trauma
and we are blaming her
when we should be supporting her!!!!
And what happens????
Girl goes home
crying for the things she is not even responsible even a bit
feels the worse of a helpless fellow,
taking back an instance that will pinch her whole life,
Being transformed into someone who can never be reverted back,
Being converted into someone who will now always be afraid of the dark and loneliness????
And loses her identity, loses herself!!!!!
And next what......
She lodges F.I.R
which will catch the convict “IF SHE’S LUCKY”
but does catching the convict revert back the things for her
will it give her the same life she lived before?
It’s not just about stopping guys from doing so
it’s about giving girls their sense of FREEDOM!!
A sense of NORMAL LIFE!!
A sense of SECURITY!!!
A sense of RESPECT!!
Courtesy-times of India
Title courtesy-Delhi slut walk
So true. If someone is blaming a girl for rape case , he's living in dark world.The point is not how a girl dresses. Doesn't matter, whether she wears short skirts or burkha. The fault lies in the social outlook of the people.
ReplyDeleteThe problem is that most of the rape cases goes unnoticed. Often , the girl decides to ignore the guy who raped her which boost that guy confidence even further.
Only if we could set solid example that raped cases will not go unnoticed, we will have a little bit of control over it. For this, the local police should come forward. Also, as a member of society, we should on own came forward to the victim help.
nyc quotes used..:)
ReplyDelete@anonymous
ReplyDeletei would like to go beyond your anonymous identity
want to know abt u
very rightly said
thanks for reading
!!!!
keep reading
@amar sir
ReplyDeletethanks alot!
keep reading
keep commenting
nice thoughts...
ReplyDeletekeep sharing and keep awakening people..
this is what kajal and i were discussing today.
rape is a cruel action done for a little satisfaction.
it kills a girl mentally, its just like a half murder.
@archit sir
ReplyDeletevery rightly said
it is indeed a half murder
thanks for reading
keep reading!
keep commenting!
Frnd.. Its not the prblm of dressing..
ReplyDeleteI knw a police Inspector who deals cases like this almost everyday. He says that most of the rape cases are not actually RAPE.. Its done with mutual understanding nd after doing if the situation goes out of control i.e if girl becomes pregnant or their parents or some other person comes to knw about the act or if anyone finds thm doing that act, thn the girl saves herself by lodging complain nd blaiming the partner...
But I do agree that there are many true rape cases where the girl iz actually raped.. This must be stopped at all costs.. Nd I think tht I m going to start a group "STOP EVE TEASING" in our colg JIIT. If u all will support me thn my group will be a great success....
Pls mail me at sakshamjain1995@gmail.com if u support me to start our group STOP EVE TEASING!!!
@saksham
ReplyDeletethanks alot for ur precious views
it was good reading them
start the group and we'll support u
go ahead!!!
keep reading!
keep commenting!
and follow my blog!!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteNice to see someone raising this issue !
ReplyDeleteThis crime is heartless and cruel and WE may never know the pain and suffering the victim goes through.
Victim blaming is the most irrelevant and sad part of this crime as self-blame is THE destructive after effect that a victim suffers from.
Sympathy, motivation, empathy and justice that a victim seeks. And rightly mentioned that especially in India justice is hard to expect.
I am unwilling to exaggerate but death sentence is the apt punishment for this crime as, a heartless crime deserves a heartless trial.
Government needs to impose much much stricter laws, and we can do is to aware people and hope that not only our loved ones but no one is a victim to this.
STOP RAPING OUR GREATEST RESOURCE !
KEEP SPREADING THE AWARENESS
KEEP WRITING (wonderful job, truly !)
:D
@yatharth
ReplyDeletethanks alot for giving it a view
and sharing ur precious views
it was grt reading it
keep reading
keep commenting
and follow my blog
:-D
nice thoughts ,
ReplyDeletegood job..
keep writing ..:(
@pratham
ReplyDeletethanks alot bhai
appreciation is always good
:-D
keep reading!
keep commenting!
and follow my blog!!!
i wish every guy had thoughts lyk u..
ReplyDeletea gurl's lyf wud hav become so easy :)
it was realy nyc reading it..!!
grt job :))
@shruti
ReplyDeleteprivileged to see ur comments
and appreciation!
thanks
keep reading!
keep commenting!
:-D
yr tell me if u were really inspired by rajeev and raghu while writing this blog ....
ReplyDelete@anonymous
ReplyDeletei really appreciate their way of respecting girls
bu no they were not the source of my inspiration
it's been long since i've seen them!
but good to see ur comment
keep reading!
keep commenting!
:-D
nhi i mean ke your thoughts were quite similar to those of raghu and rajeev....
ReplyDeletewell any way leave it
very well written and a very sensitive topic raised by you in your blog about which people don't even dare to speak openly...
also please do share with us what should be done with culprits...
@anonymous
ReplyDeletethanks alot karan!!!!
it is true that people don't dare to speak openly
it is indeed a sensitive topic
and my motive was to bring topic to front!
and things will sort only when there will be mass movement!
सिर्फ हंगामा खड़ा करना मेरा मकसद नहीं,
सारी कोशिश है कि ये सूरत बदलनी चाहिए
मेरे सीने में नहीं तो तेरे सीने में सही
हो कहीं भी आग, लेकिन आग जलनी चाहिए।
i think ur views are well confined within your thought limits or i personally feel that u just expressed ur views wrapped in some typical literary style without having a complete overview over it.
ReplyDeletefirst thing u didnt specify how and who blames a rape victim...not parents,not friends,nor i feel this society,what point have they got to blame her,nothing..
apart from it,u said that girls are not allowed as much as freedom as d boys enjoy these days.its just one way of seeing coz gals and boys are different,physically,mentally,emotionally.and it has been proved ,stated,and mentioned in d vedas,historical books.
i m not saying that there should be a discrimination on this basis or gals are inferior.what i'm trying to say that there is some line,some defined area of freedom and work which is enjoyed by that respective sex.
simpple question to make it clear....
WHY IS IT A COMMON PERCEPTION THAT WHEN A GAL'S PARENT OR A GAL LOOK UP FOR A GUY,THEY EXPECT HIM TO BE WORKING AND EARNING ? BUT ITS NOT AS COMMON WHEN A GUY'S PARENTS OR HE HIMSELF IS LOOKIN UP FOR A GAL.HERE THE PRIORITIES GET CHANGED
ASK URSELF ARE U GOIN TO MARRY A GAL ,ONLY IF SHE EARNS ENOUGH TO BEAR UR EXPENSES.NEVER.
BUT A GIRL WILL NEVER MARRY A GUY WHO IS NOT ABLE TO BEAR THEIR EXPENSES.
Y IS THEIR A DIFFERNECE IN EXPECTATIONS?
ANOTHER QUESTION:
Y IS IT D GUY IN A COUPLE,EXPECTED TO BE PROTECTIVE AND NOT D GAL?
COZ MY FRIEND,WE HAVE GOT OUR OWN AREAS OF RESPONSIBILITIES,ON BASIS OF OUR SEX.AND THATS WHY A GAL AND A GUY ARE BUILT DIFFERENT BY GOD.EVERY THING HAS A REASON ,THIS ONE AS WELL
now coming to d topic of dressing.
let me tell u a statement of great CHANAKYA "women posses 8 times more attraction(sensuality{kamukta}) in comparison to men"she has been built this way only.
and now takin this topic a bit endocrinal [;-) ;-)] way.we have got certain glands in are body that produces hormones that attract us to d opposite sex.
"WOMEN HAVE 10 TIMES LESS TESTOSTERONE THAN MEN" which makes them less sensitive to attraction of opposite sex.
***now combining thee two factors that women posses 8 8times more attracting power and men are 10times more inclined towards that attraction for opposite sex.it is clear that men's sexual desires can be triggered alomost 20 times more easily,compared to a women
now keeping this thing in mind,u analyse d way of dressing.
isn't d today's sense of their dressing is sexually appealing?
they are triggering a guy's sexual harmonal level by their dress.
and when u r comparing a boy walkin out in a boxer with their freedom,y cant a a gal pull out her shirt like a guy can do.
obviously because both are made different ,and so should they behave.and its alwaz seen that whenever human crossed their defined limits,consequences have been bad only.
what u have tried to say (somewhat) that u let a gal walk exposing her body(which is supposed to attract d guys) but without wanting a guy to stare at somthing (which is supposed to be attractive for him naturally.)
what kind of thinking is that??????????
u want a man to behave opposite to what he is supposed to behave naturally?
expecting a man to behave as a gay or an impotent..?
(cont....)
lame and stupid thinking of today,for extra and unnecessary freedom has led to ol this.
ReplyDelete.and m sick of it.
i agree that a gal wearing a burkha is no safer than a gal wearing a mini skirt
but with ol d crap and unlimited adult content on net these days,which has made d boys extremely sensitive towards d opposite sex.
tell me who is more prone to a rapist eye,who is more appealing and triggering for a man who posses doin such insane activity,a gal in burkha or a gal in mini skirt?????
it may not be the soul reason for rapes,but it is, for d increment in its no. now a days.
now dont put up a stupid example of rapes in villlages where gals are in salwar suits and decent dresses only.
their d factor is d probability of not getting caught ,or not being seen in fields.
and absence of public or private toilets as well is another factor.
(apologies for mistakes or inappropriate content,if any)
and in addition to all this,its not that i am defending a rapist,but its true that neither u can remove d adult contents from net,nor can u abstain people from watching it.
ReplyDeletenor can u change d fact that a guy has higher level of testosterone.
but being a gal u can do something at ur level,dont become a sweetpea in those devil eyes.don't let urself become prone to be caught by such lustful eyes.
now its ur choice ,either u keep asking for need less and futile freedom for gals.or u stay in ur limits.enjoy d freedom in reasonable areas and stay on d safer side
or either u change d laws of nature, or start a revolution to remove d adult contents from net.
rest u cant change a mind who has already gone to such disgusting level and thot of doing something this horrible.
First of all there is no well defined answer for that
ReplyDeletewho blames a victim?
There May BE DIFFERENT PEOPLE
there ARE NO WELL DEFINED BOUNDARIES.
In your words
your following questions
“WHY IS IT A COMMON PERCEPTION THAT WHEN A GAL'S PARENT OR A GAL LOOK UP FOR A GUY, THEY EXPECT HIM TO BE WORKING AND EARNING ?
Y IS IT D GUY IN A COUPLE, EXPECTED TO BE PROTECTIVE AND NOT D GAL?”
Will find their answers in “Vedas, historical books.”
It is since that time!
And does your 20 times factor say
“this is quite an obvious thing”????
If men have 20 times more sexual desire does it give them the power to rape anybody!
And what you said is completely wrong
you said I was stopping guys from staring at an attractive woman!
No my friend!
We all know that we ourselves stare at them.
But there is a confined line between staring and raping....
I hope you understand my sense of stopping guys to rape
does not make them “gay” or “impotent”!
And then you said the same thing I illustrated with “the chicken” example
mini skirt is more appealing
no my friend!
THINK OF ALL OF IT FROM YOUR SISTER’S /GIRLFRIEND’S POINT OF VIEW.
ASK YOURSELF!
WOULD YOU STILL STOP HER FROM WEARING MINI SKIRT JUST BECAUSE SHE CAN TRIGGER A SITUATION LIKE RAPE?
OR IN A SITUATION OF RAPE-
WOULD YOU BE ANGRY ON YOUR SISTER/GIRLFRIEND OR RAPIST??
WOULD YOU STILL SAY THAT THIS IS OBVIOUS COZ GAL AND BOY ARE MADE DIFFERENT?
WOULD YOU STILL JUSTIFY IT COZ ACCORDING TO YOU “MALE POSSES MORE TESTOSTERNE LEVEL”?
WOULD YOU JUSTIFY IT BECAUSE OF YOUR SO CALLED “LAWS OF NATURE”?
JUST FOR ONCE TRY TO SEE THROUGH A GIRL’S EYE!!!!!!
WAKE UP!!!!
AND THANKS FOR GIVING MY BLOG SO MUCH TIME!
oh buddy o buddy,still confined within ur views.
ReplyDeleteits pretty clear that u didnt read my comments properly.
i was not talkin about d REASONS Of rape,i commented on ur asking for freedom for dressing of gals in comparison to boys.
thats why i gave those examples(which u hung up to bbe answered by vedas) to explain that there is certain differnce btwn two sex and we have to demand(here for freedom) accordingly rather than in comparison to d other sex.be clear with your thots.u r demanding for equal freedom inspite we r not equal( not talkin about d potential)
THIS IS MY POIN,AND NOT D REASONS OF RAPES.
its clearly mentioned over there
"i m not defending a rapist"
secondly
"it doesnt cause rape but this sense of dressing has led to increment in its no."
thirdly
"i didnt blame a gal for bearin such dresses but yup not doing so can give them a safer edge."
and that 20 times factor doesn't state that rape is obvious.
u lack correct interpretation my friend.
what i justified is men getting stimulated and attracted more easily.
u have just taken my comments as an opposition to ur views,and have misiterpreted clearly even after i made it so clear.
i dont support a rapist,regarding my sister or urs. never ever
but just tell me can u go and change d thinking of a rapist.
no????
may be one or two ,nut ol of them??
no
so what i tried to say that when this society has become like that,there are already some triggering factors like the contents of today's movies and on internet.policemen themselves have been involved in so many rape cases.d only thing which we can do is to prevent ourselves from becoming prone to such eyes????
and whatever u write,u know as well as i do,that a gal wearing an exposing dress will be lot more appealing generally,u people cant deny that.
so what does this do??? it triggers that harmonal level of every guy.(let it be rapist or a normal guy)
here again m sayin that m not sayin that it is causing rape but definitly it is makin them a attracting hole for those eyes.
u accepted it that we do stare at them(sorry i don't ,u can ask anyone in our batch) ok fine.and ya there is a line between staring and raping but for people like us not those who are itending to rape.
got it?
u've written:
"""you said I was stopping gays from staring at an attractive woman!
No my friend!"""
ha ha ha,from where d hell did u interpret it????
i was saying that if u r expecting us not to stare at a gal wearing mini skirt,then u r expecting a guy to behave as an impotent
(CAUSE THIS IS D LAW OF NATURE ,ATTRACTION B/W OPPOSITE SEX")
I wasnt claiming rape as d law of nature.lol,u interpret according to ur mindset.:D
and even if i think from my sister or gal friend's point of view,if i care for them,and i am well aware of how d society is going i'll never let them roam around in stupid dresses.especially when alone.
ReplyDeletecause i know i cant change a rapist mind,and as u accepted such dresses draw more attention,of evryone...but there might be a rapist in that "EVRYONE".and then such dresses act as a black hole for their lust.
u are ryt people will stare at them..but do u know who among those atring eyes are of a rapist.???????
can u change his mind?
no but u can prevent ur sis or gf from becoming a sweet pea in those eyes.thats what m talking about.its not about cutting thier freedom,its about giving them an edge when it comes to d safety.
If men have 20 times more sexual desire does it give them the power to rape anybody!
u asked it????
who d hell said they had d power to rape anybody.
but we no people are not alike.a rapist mind doesn't think like we do.
but this s d law i talked about, a guy is 2o times more prone of gettting attracted,ryt???
and now wearing a dress which makes u more appealing,exposing u from everwhere....don't u think that it'll serve as a magnet??
for a common person,it'll go upto staring only...
but for a mind who has d courage to go to any disgusting level ,wont this magnet serve as a lust trigger? wont it make that gal more vulnerable to such eyes.
and lastly when it comes to see through a gal's eys...i'll say that NO ONE WANTS HER GF,SIS OR DAUGHTER TO BE UNHAPPY,ITS JUST WE CARE FOR THEM SINCERLY.THATS WHY WE FORBADE THEM TO DRESS UP THAT WAY.ITS NEVER ABOUT FREEDOM.A FATHER CANT GO AND CHANGE D SOCIETY FOR HER DAUGHTER,WHAT HE CAN DO IS TO TELL HER GAL ONLY TO BE ON D SAFER EDGE.
I HOPE I MADE IT CLEAR.
READ IT AGAIN BEFORE COMMENTING.
GUD LUCK FOR D BLOG
First of all there is no well defined answer for that
who blames a victim?
There May BE DIFFERENT PEOPLE
there ARE NO WELL DEFINED BOUNDARIES.
AND u urself write this even after mentioning it in ur blog that victim is accused.
first try to find out d answer who and why do they blame a victim??? or is it really happening or u read it from nowhere.hmm???( i mentioned it coz ur reply itself made ur blog incomplete.)
Okay
ReplyDeleteNow I got you completely
We've been fighting over the same thing
But still being on different shores.
I can't get you previously because you mixed up too many things
Or may be a typo
What you talk about is fairly true
But that is the current scenario
What I talk is about the betterment of the situation
I know things will not change quickly
But that is just a step from my side!
Yes you are true that we want our sis/gf/daughters to be safe
But in current scenario we would stop them from wearing skirts
But what my focus is to give them the sense of freedom so that they can feel secure even if they are wearing skirts!
Thanks for that best of luck!
Thanks for such meaningful discussion!
Widen your horizon Anmol.
ReplyDeleteStop stating the obvious.
Yes. Freedom is necessary but that wont help reduce the rape cases. You can win an argument but you cant avert a rape with these reasons. :)
I am a girl. I am not conservative. BUT I AM CAUTIOUS.
All girls need to be.
It is unfortunate. But it is true. :)
First of all good to know
ReplyDeleteU spent your precious time on my efforts
Ok
Coming to your answer
The first, foremost and biggest step in changing the thing is self realizing that "THIS IS MY WORLD AND THINGS ARE NOT GOING RIGHT AND NOBODY HAS THE RIGHT TO SPOIL MY WORLD AND THINGS HAVE TO CHANGE"
And this is what I tried doing
Although it was yeah "stating of obvious things"
But no fancy dreamy talk can make you realize all that
It has to be rough obvious facts
That'll make us realize that things are not right
I am not a lawmaker
i cannot avert the rape cases but yeah
I PLAYED MY PART!
सिर्फ हंगामा खड़ा करना मेरा मकसद नहीं,
सारी कोशिश है कि ये सूरत बदलनी चाहिए
मेरे सीने में नहीं तो तेरे सीने में सही
हो कहीं भी आग, लेकिन आग जलनी चाहिए।
I STATED THOSE OBVIOUS FACTS
JUST TO KEEP THAT BATON OF CHANGE LIT UP!
nicely written...glad to see another post from a young mind on such issues... :)
ReplyDeletekeep scribbling... :) :) :)
thank you so much
ReplyDelete@cynosure!!!!!!!